What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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