OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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