I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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