I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
