It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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