i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize