When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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