so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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