Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
