Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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