as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
