wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
