Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
