If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
