Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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