I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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