Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
