just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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