First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize