that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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