It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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