Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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