Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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