I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
