So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Panties = found
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