We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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