I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Randomize
