Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
