he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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