he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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