How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize