We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
