I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize