Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
