Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
