yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't want my vagina anymore.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
