I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i think i just lost a toe
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
