i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
