wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
