i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
