also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
