Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
