I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
