Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
