none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
