I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize