Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
