I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize