I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
