Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
