He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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