my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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