sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize