WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
