So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
