im drinking this country out of the recession.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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