'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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