I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
