I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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