And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
